


white roses

by sunsetblurs



Category: WAYV, WeishenV
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, M/M, Post-Break Up, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 20:37:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20570522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunsetblurs/pseuds/sunsetblurs
Summary: Sometimes we imagine things to go in a certain direction, but then they suddenly don’t.Kunhang imagined that Ten is his happy ever after.





	white roses

**Author's Note:**

> three things:
> 
> i. i recommend listening to ‘white roses’ by greyson chance while reading 
> 
> ii. i imagine that both ten and kunhang are a few years older than they currently are in real life
> 
> iii. if by any chance you want to help me pay rent, you can send me a [coffee](https://ko-fi.com/sunsetblurs), i would be eternally grateful <3

It’s been almost four weeks. Four unnecessarily long weeks with Kunhang wallowing in unending sadness caused by the pain of a heartbreak. 

_Nobody said that it would last forever._

Kunhang has been broken up with and has broken up with people before, but nothing ever hurt him the way Ten’s words did when he said that. Ten might have not expected them to last forever, but Kunhang was foolish enough to believe that that was exactly what fate had in store for them. Forever. 

In general Kunhang was a happy person; all smiles and stupid ideas. Ten always said that the boyish charm he carries is one of the many things he loves about him, but when they broke up he made it sound like the boyish charm he loved so much was what pushed Ten away. 

Kunhang wasn’t used to being sad, people around him weren’t used to him being sad, but that’s what Kunhang was these days. The first few weeks after the break up Kunhang was just the representation of sadness, just a shell of a human with nothing substantial inside. Some people would say that he was being overdramatic. There’s no way he loved Ten that much, right? 

Wrong. 

The meaning of love only became obvious to Kunhang after he met Ten. All the people he’s been with before made him feel happy at certain points, made him feel wanted — needed even — but no one had ever been able to make Kunhang feel the things he felt with Ten. Ten; the love of his life. 

_I never said we would die together. Life is not a fairytale, Kunhang. Some people just don’t get their happy ever afters. You definitely won’t get yours with me. _

The problem was that that’s what Kunhang thought would happen. He never believed something as much as he believed that Ten was his happy ever after. And as if the break up itself wasn’t painful enough, Ten had to go and make him question if he ever loved Kunhang at all. 

Kunhang wasn’t one to regret things, even if they ended up not working out and complicated his life instead. And he would never allow himself to regret loving Ten, he would never regret the years spent by his side. What Kunhang regretted was being the type of person who’d go and do it all over again even if he knew the outcome would be same. Even if he knew Ten would break his heart again, Kunhang would do it without thinking twice about it. 

_I’m sure you’ll find someone eventually. Someone who’ll be able to accept all the love you’re willing to give. _

What Ten couldn’t see was that Kunhang was only willing to give that amount of love to him and no one else. Even if Kunhang one day somehow found someone else to love, that person wouldn’t be loved the same way Ten was, still is. Kunhang adored Ten to the point it was overbearing, and there’s no way he could blame Ten for that. 

And maybe that’s why the heartbreak only got worse every day. Because Kunhang had to accept that he ruined it all for himself and he’s the only person to blame. He loved too much, too strong. 

_I just can’t handle all of this._

Love too strong for one to handle, especially when the one never loved him back. 

Kunhang had friends he could call when he felt down, friends he trusted. But those friends were also the ones who’ve told him before that _Ten isn’t taking your relationship seriously_ or _he might not be cheating on you, but that doesn’t mean he’s in this one hundred percent_. Kunhang knows that they meant well, he himself was aware of Ten’s reputation before they started dating, but he never allowed the bad reputation to affect how he looked at Ten. 

Maybe he should have and maybe it’s good that he didn’t; Kunhang couldn’t tell right from wrong though, the pain he felt made all the lines blurred. 

Ten might had been promiscuous in the past, but he was loyal to Kunhang. It wasn’t that Kunhang just blindly trusted him, but he was unfortunate enough to cross paths with more cheaters than one person ever should, so he was able to see all the warning signs. And he never saw any from how Ten acted. 

And that’s what confused Kunhang the most. Ten never gave him any signs of being unhappy or stressed with how their relationship was paced. Kunhang always felt only love and dedication, trust and honesty from Ten, so what exactly was the breaking point for him? Why exactly had Kunhang never been told that his love is overbearing until the very day Ten ended things with him? How was is possible for Ten to just wake up one day and decide he doesn’t want to be with Kunhang anymore? How was it so easy for him to make Kunhang question all of Ten’s feelings within the few minutes Ten wasted on him during the break up? 

Kunhang never thought he’d be one to get caught up in guilt and doubts, he never thought he’d get stuck on a heartbreak for weeks without any vision of getting better soon. He saw himself as a strong person who can deal with anything that’s thrown his way, but Ten managed to prove him wrong with just a few words. 

Four weeks into their separation, Kunhang didn’t know if he wants to get answers to all of his questions or if he just simply wants Ten back, whether he’ll give him answers or not. 

He was able to hide himself away from his friends because lying over texts really isn’t hard, and using _hanging out with Ten _as a cover up for crying because he was without Ten had proved itself handy. Kunhang didn’t necessarily enjoy lying to his friends, but he liked the idea that to everyone else, nothing went wrong with the two of them; they were together and no one had the need to question it. 

Kunhang still texted Ten. They weren’t your usual desperate texts begging him to come back, but they would still be desperate texts nevertheless considering Kunhang never got a text back yet he kept trying again and again. 

The first few weeks after the break up were filled with events that Kunhang definitely won’t put on the list of his proudest moments. At one point he was ready to start prying and contact Ten’s friends, but he at least stopped himself from that one. 

Kunhang felt embarrassed of himself. He let a heartbreak completely turn his world around, and he wasn’t getting any closer to finding a solution, because the only solution for missing Ten was Ten. 

It took his friends six weeks to invite themselves over because they stopped believing Kunhang’s excuses. When confronted face to face, Kunhang didn’t have it in him to lie, so he just told them everything, and even though they tried their best not to let it seep through, Kunhang still heard the underlying_ it’s good that he’s gone _in almost everything they said. But how could it possibly be good that he’s gone when it made Kunhang feel so empty? 

When Ten made the choice to end things with Kunhang, he felt like he was doing the right thing. He felt like at the end of the day breaking up will be good for both of them. 

He didn’t want to act all selfless and say he did it for Kunhang because that was only a part of the truth. Their relationship was never fully supported when it came to Kunhang’s friends and family. It’s not that his family would be homophobic in any way, but it was very obvious that they expected someone _better_ for their golden child. Kunhang was handsome, well spoken, smart, talented, had a degree and a bright future in front of him while the only thing bright in Ten’s future was Kunhang himself. 

And when it came to Kunhang’s friends, they just simply didn’t trust Ten to be loyal, to treat Kunhang well, to be good enough for him. And while it might be more noble to say that Ten ended things with Kunhang because he believed that the latter deserved someone better, saying that would be a lie. 

Ten knew that Kunhang didn’t care about what his family wants for him when it came to his partners, and he also knew that Kunhang wouldn’t let his friends affect the way he sees Ten, but the elder didn’t like being belittled and rendered to a cheating scumbag even though he never gave anyone a reason to believe that that’s what he is. 

Sure, his past wasn’t the best to make him look like a suitable lifelong partner, but he’s changed ever since he met Kunhang. The parties, the drinks, the people, nothing was as tempting as Kunhang. Ten has never cheated or even thought about cheating during his relationship with the younger man. He never regretted dropping his old lifestyle for the sake of them even though Kunhang never actually asked him to change. 

Kunhang changed him in so many ways just like Ten changed Kunhang. But the changes Ten experienced were seen as Kunhang fixing him while the changes Kunhang went through during their relationship was labeled as Ten ruining him. 

Ten was happy with Kunhang and he knew that Kunhang was happy with him, but the people around them just couldn’t deal with Kunhang settling down with _the bad boy, _and Ten didn’t want to be the asshole who gives out ultimatums and makes his partner choose between him and his friends and family. 

Was it selfish to decide for Kunhang? Probably. But Ten saw it as the better alternative and that’s why he believed that breaking up is a good idea. 

He got over that notion pretty quickly though. Ten didn’t really know what pain is until he literally saw the way Kunhang’s heart broke as he said things like _I’m not your happy ever after _or _your love is too much for me._ Bullshit, all of it. 

If it was up to just the two of them, they would be each other’s happy ever after. Ten has never been overwhelmed by Kunhang’s love, he was just overwhelmed by everyone who decided to include themselves in their relationship. 

He knew that relationships are all about honesty and communication, but he didn’t feel like it was worth making Kunhang fight with his friends and family for Ten’s sake. The people around Kunhang might have not liked Ten, but they loved Kunhang to pieces and they never mistreated him or anything akin to that; that’s why Ten decided to exclude himself out of the story because the situation got out of hand. 

It was all logical and made perfect sense, but each day it was getting harder for Ten to believe that logic was the thing he should follow. When days turned into weeks and Kunhang still kept texting him every day, Ten was struggling more and more not to answer him. 

Was it really worth it when he was suffering to much because of it? Was it better to just endure all the judgmental looks and the snarky remarks? 

_i just don’t get what went wrong _

_i thought we were happy_

God, how bad did Ten want to answer. Because they were happy; Ten felt like he didn’t know what genuine happiness was until he met Kunhang. 

Kunhang who was always so full of life and energetic. Kunhang who never gave up and pushed Ten into doing better not for him, but for Ten himself. Kunhang who made his days better. Kunhang who taught him how to love the world again. 

Ten didn’t want to regret his decision, but after weeks of separation he could no longer act like he made either of them happy. Kunhang is still texting him and wondering what went wrong with them, reminding Ten that he still loves him, and Ten isn’t doing any better. 

But he didn’t believe that going back would solve anything because the reason Ten broke up with Kunhang was still there. And Ten still wasn’t willing to risk Kunhang’s relationship with his family and friends for the sake of theirs. 

Six weeks into them not being together anymore, but it was still just as painful as the first day. How could this possibly be a good decision when it made Ten feel so empty? 

People always assumed that Kunhang took all the bad habits after Ten because of course they did; Ten was dubbed the bad influence since the very beginning of their relationship. That’s why everyone assumed that Kunhang started occasionally smoking because Ten pressured him into doing it. The truth is that smoking is the reason they started talking in the first place, in a way. 

There was a park near to both of their apartments that was five minutes walking distance, and both of them found themselves walking there when they felt too stressed or too lost and needed something to calm them down. They ran into each other so many times that they eventually started exchanging polite greetings when they met there, and after a few weeks of those they started talking properly. 

It wasn’t an actual friendship considering that they only ever talked when they met in the park, but they managed to get close even just through that. Ten told him random stories from his escapades and while to some people it would feel extremely inappropriate to talk about sex with a stranger they met up with every once in a while, Kunhang found all the stories hilarious and always encouraged Ten to tell him more. 

Kunhang didn’t tell his friends about Ten because he liked the idea of keeping him all to himself, but it turned out that his friends knew Ten probably a lot more than he did at that point. One afternoon Dejun mentioned, mainly to Sicheng (since neither of them thought Kunhang knew Ten), how a certain Ten doesn’t go to parties anymore and how out of character it is for him, and after two more questions, Kunhang knew that they were thinking about the same person. 

Until Dejun said it, Kunhang didn’t even realize that Ten wasn’t talking about his party adventures anymore as they both focused on just getting to know each other better. And so he asked him about it the next time they met in the park. Ten was a bit shocked that Kunhang knew about his attendance – or the lack of it – at parties, but he didn’t hesitate before telling Kunhang the exact reason behind it. 

_I was thinking about settling down with someone and the thought doesn’t really scare me anymore, so I just stopped going._

Kunhang wanted to say how proud he is of Ten for maturing like this. He never had an issue with Ten’s lifestyle, but it was still nice to see his view on having a long term relationship changing. But before he could say anything, the man spoke again. 

_I’d rather be here with you than at a party hooking up with strangers. _

They kissed for the first time that night, and walked away with a date planned for the next weekend and their hearts full of expectations. 

The park became the key place of their relationship and they kept going there even after they officially started dating. Sometimes to smoke, sometimes to talk and sometimes they just walked around in silence because each other’s company was more than enough. 

And it made perfect sense to Kunhang to go there seven weeks after their break up simply because he missed Ten’s presence. 

Just like it made perfect sense to Ten to go there seven weeks after their break up simply because he missed Kunhang’s presence. 

They were bound to meet again and somehow they both knew it. They saw each other in the park, but didn’t feel surprised in the slightest because this is the way it was supposed to go. This was how they settle it. 

_I miss you. _

__

__

_I miss you too._

  



End file.
